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avatar notoriousdav68 3 mon.ago

Why are space cows better than earth cows?

They're meteor.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. How do you make the number one disappear?

Add a "g" and it's gone

2. A couple of years ago, a local shopping center had a huge depression open up in the middle of the parking lot.

This, of course, was devastating for them because May 5th is one of their busiest days of the year. But instead of closing, they decided to work with it-and held a Sink Hole de Mayo celebration.

3. Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 1,720,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico.

This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day, known as Cinko de Mayo.

4. I ate a lot of beans yesterday…

Happy Stinko de Mayo! 🫘 🇲🇽

5. A bunny went to buy some carrots for himself. What did the tortoise say to him?

He said, "fetch me some kale while you're rabbit!"

6. Why did the mechanic sleep under the car?

He wanted to get up *oily* in the morning.

7. Zoo Monkeys

Pat works in Dublin zoo and has a van full of monkeys jumping around in the back of his van, he has to deliver the monkeys to the zoo before the end of the day but as he’s driving down the motorway his van breaks down, pat hops out the van defeated, until he sees his buddy Mick driving down the opposite direction. Pat waves down Mick and explains his situation. “Here’s 50 euro, take the monkeys to the zoo while I wait for a tow” says Pat, Mick agrees and off he goes down the road with the monkeys in the back of his van. Three hours pass and Pat is still stuck on the side of the road when he sees Mick speeding back up the road with all the monkeys still in the van, Pat waves him down furiously and says “what the fuck are you doing with the monkeys you were supposed to bring them to the zoo” to which Mick replies “I did Pat, but I’ve 20 euro left over so I’m bringing them to the cinema now”.

8. Why is it hard to read the works of Immanuel Kant?

Because it's not in English

9. My friends always tell me i have trouble staying confident in the things i say..

\[Deleted\]

10. What does an Australian use to clean their bum?

Bidet, mate.

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